You have to take care of you…
The shock of divorce or a break-up can send our bodies into all sorts of reactions, physically, emotionally and spiritually. It is imperative that you are your OWN BEST FRIEND, and treat yourself with love, compassion and kindness.
At this time you are likely to be experiencing any and/or all of the following:-
- Like you are spiralling out of control
- Extreme mood changes
- Anger and rage
- Helpless and without hope
- Full of despair and desperation
- Abandoned and alone
- Depressed, sad, suicidal
- Emotionally and physically drained
- Disrupted sleep & eating patterns
It is completely normal for you to experience the above, you are going through a period of intense shock and suffering, similar to the loss of a loved one through bereavement. The most common question I am asked is “When will this end? When will I stop feeling like this?”
There will be a turning point in the future, when you have worked through your grief and moved on to acceptance. However in the meantime, here are my Divorce SOS tips.
Eat nutritious foods…
I know you don’t feel like eating, you feel sick to your stomach and every time you think of food you just don’t fancy it… That’s understandable…however the brain doesn’t function well when you don’t eat. Go for light foods like soups, avocado’s, vegetables, anything that is easy to digest. Drink lots of water and if you can stay away from alcohol. Not because it’s wrong to drink, but alcohol impacts your mood and ability to deal with stress.
Get a journal…
At this moment in time, your thoughts are overwhelming… you’re on an emotional roller coaster and it’s better out than in. It’s tempting to share your inner pain and grief with anyone who will listen or to seek revenge on social media, however, it won’t really help. Use your journal to write about your inner fears, your darkest secrets, to express your anger, rage, sorrow and grief. Keep it in a safe place where only you will read it. Writing in your journal at the first part of the morning, can help to offload that horrible empty feeling you have as you get out of bed to face your day and your world.
Do something you love…
Decide to do something you love each day, even if it’s going to your favourite coffee shop, getting outside for a walk, going to yoga, the gym, reading to your children, visiting a friend, having a pampering bath, doing some drawing, visiting a friend, watching your favourite Friends episode… do something that is for you and gives you something to smile at.
Run, walk, dance or play…
When my partner left, I had this outrageous urge to run. Fortunately, we lived in a house on the edge of a wood and each day I got out of bed and ran through the trees, sometimes screaming at God, WHY, WHY??? I shouted at my ex, I laughed, I cried, I felt alive. I needed to move my body and feel life flooding through my veins. Exercise will do this. Even if you don’t feel like it, do it. You will feel so much better afterwards.
Firstly to yourself. Be gentle with your inner talk, you know the voice inside your head that gives you a hard time. Look for opportunities to be kind to others, often in life there are always others suffering more than ourselves. When we are compassionate to others, it helps us to open up to love.