Giving birth is the easy part, it’s what happens next!

Giving birth is the easy part, it’s what happens next!

Arhh and things were never the same again…

We’ve had so much change lately what with Covid-19, lockdown and numerous restrictions to our every day lives, it got me thinking about when I gave birth to my first child, my son, Daniel and how life was never the same again.

When you’re pregnant you hear loads of stories about the awful things that can happen during labour, it engenders so much fear that I wonder why anyone would ever get pregnant, let alone do it more than once.

Here’s three lessons I learned when I had Dan that have served me well in all areas of my life, whether it’s been raising my children, starting a business, getting divorced, a new relationship, moving countries or dealing with unexpected circumstances.

Be more flexible

I might add, that’s not me in the photo!!! When you’re expecting, there’s this thing called the BIRTH PLAN, and it lists out all the things you want, like epidural, gas and air and in my case, it was a water birth, no drugs, lots of candles, music and my partner.

In reality…. I was induced, which was excruciatingly painful!! The doctor also broke my waters for me – definitely not nice! In the end I had to have gas and air and an epidural!!  I then spent two hours pushing my son out (I think he was warm and cosy and didn’t want to come out) – a total of 36 hours in labour!!

So yes, it’s important to have a plan, whether it’s your life plan, wedding plan, holiday plan… and above all else, be flexible with it, listen to your intuition and don’t be afraid to change the plan, if you change your mind or if what you previously thought you wanted is no longer going to serve your highest good.

I know it might seem obvious… AND BREATHE

Breathe and be with every moment… When we’re anxious or fearful, we tend to hold our breath, and holding our breath stops the flow of energy in our body. We are made of energy and I like to think of emotion as energy that moves through us that attach meaning and thoughts to. As we go through life emotions get stuck in our bodies. When we become present to our emotions, name them and breathe through them, the energy and emotions move through us and we shift the energy.

You have the power to shift your emotions through the way you breathe 

Allow yourself to feel bliss

There is this wonderful moment when the baby pops out of your lady parts, when you get hit with a rush of oxytocin and every thing feels amazing. I mean honestly it’s such a relief that the baby is out, so it is going to feel good but this is quite indescribably amazing!

Here’s what it taught me, so often in life we strive to reach a goal or create an amazing result, and we forget to experience the bliss, we quickly move on to the next thing, in a rush to get somewhere else.

Giving birth taught me to enjoy my creations, to savour the moment and be present to what is happening right here, right now.

So in conclusion, life will never be the same again, whether it’s after having a child, getting married, dealing with the impact of Covid or simply because each and every day you are evolving, growing and becoming more of who you truly are.

It’s been 18 years and 4 months since I gave birth to my son and so much has changed in my life. I married his father, and divorced him 10 years later, I was a single mum (to two) and now I’m engaged again and crazily in love.

So many moments of flexibility, breathing with and through life and feeling my bliss, thank you

With love

Photo Credits and Thanks: Top Image To BottomKalea Jerielle, Petr Ruzicka, Max van den Oetelaar, Eric Froehling – Unsplash

Transformational Relationship & Divorce Coach. Founder of The Divorce Detox & Get Divorce Fit. Mum of two gorgeous souls, lover of art, writing, yoga & life

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