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“When you’re dating online you have to stand out from the crowd”
If you’re single and the four months in lockdown made you realise you wanted to do something about it, then with all the noise online at the moment, you have to make sure your dating profile gets the right attention, let’s face it no one wants to go on a 100 first dates!
Most people find it hard to talk about themselves, let alone write a dating profile that’s an effortless combination of singing your praises, intrigue, playfulness, humility, and ultimately says ‘You’d be an absolute fool not to go on a date with me!” Often, you can write a profile that doesn’t sound like yourself and definitely doesn’t stand out and attract the partner your heart desires!
Here are three common mistakes that it’s easy to make, ESPECIALLY if you’re new to online dating!
ROOKIE MISTAKE NUMBER ONE : Your profile is too generic.
Statements such as “I love travelling, I love my work” say absolutely nothing about you, everyone loves travelling! In your dating profile, you need to be more specific. What specifically do you love about travelling or your work?
Can you write about it in such a way that the person who’s reading your profile actually wants to go travelling with you?
TIP: You might swap ‘I love traveling” to… When I was in Peru I trekked up Machu Picchu and was mesmerized by the way the light fell on the mountains, I wished I had my paints with me so I could capture it forever.
The other swap might be… I’m so passionate about my work, I feel like a proud parent when my clients get their breakthroughs and reach their dreams.
In both these statements, the person gets a glimpse of who you are and gets to feel what you’re about… and that’s what people want, they want to FEEL… if your profile doesn’t evoke any emotion, then they’re going to pass you by.
ROOKIE MISTAKE NUMBER TWO: Your profile photo doesn’t match your vibration or energy.
First impressions count! Especially if you’re on an online app, and it’s a swipe left or right scenario! Does your profile photo express who you are?
I recently asked a new client to send me her online photos as she wasn’t having any luck. When I looked at the 5 photos she sent to me, in three of them (including her main pic) she had sunglasses on. You couldn’t see her eyes. It was as if she was hiding and she wasn’t open to revealing herself (and possibly her heart).
There was no energy in her pictures at all, and this woman was vibrant, full of fun, and loves life. You want your energy and vibration to come across in your dating profile, your energy is magnetic and will pull your partner towards you.
TIP: You want to have a combination of photos. Your profile needs to be a photo that shows your face clearly, that expresses your essence or a flavour of what you’re about. You want this picture to be inviting. The other pictures can be a mixture of full body (with your clothes on) and you doing things you love, sports, with your pets, walking… whatever it is that rocks your boat and says something about you. If you have professional photos that reflect who you are, then it’s okay to add them too.
ROOKIE MISTAKE NUMBER THREE: You’re trying to attract everyone, rather than that special person.
Of course, you’re completely unaware you’re doing this and it can stem from an unconscious belief that you don’t think you’re going to find love. In an attempt to override this; you’re not specific about the type of relationship or person you truly want to attract. It’s what I call the FOMO approach!
TIP: You have to have a vision for your relationship and what it feels like to be in partnership with this person, the qualities they have that you are drawn to. It might sound a bit like this;
“I’d love to meet a man who’s confident and happy in his own skin, who’s ready to share life’s daring adventure, who appreciates the beauty in life and who’s generous with his heart and open for connection and laughter”
Or if your personality is a bit cheeky you might say. “I’m looking for a man with a big heart who knows when to put his phone down and kiss me….”
You want to get the attention of one person, the one who reads your profile and it lights up his/her heart and captures their interest.
Dating can be a number’s game, but it doesn’t have to be, you have to first clear any inner blocks to love, create a vision for love and pour energy and attention into magnetizing love towards you.
Make it fun, make it playful, if it’s not, work with a coach who can support you to make the inner shifts.