Empower Yourself to Win
Divorcing a narcissist can be one of the most difficult and painful experiences you will ever go through. You may feel completely powerless and overwhelmed, and be unsure of how to move forward with your life. Fortunately, there are strategies that can help you win your narcissistic divorce, allowing you to put the past behind you and move on with your life. In this blog post, we will discuss five strategies to support your winning a narcissistic divorce and achieving a successful outcome.
1) Find An Attorney Who Specializes In Narcissistic Abuse
When divorcing a narcissist, it’s important to find an attorney who specializes in narcissistic personality disorder and understands the unique complexities of divorcing a narcissist. It can be hard to do on your own, so having a lawyer that understands how to handle the situation can make the process a lot smoother.
A good lawyer will also understand that you may need additional support and be able to provide helpful advice and resources (such an Integrative Therapeutic Divorce Coach) that can help you cope with the emotions that may arise during the divorce process. With the right legal representation, you will be better able to navigate the treacherous waters of divorcing a narcissist and have a higher chance of achieving a successful outcome.
2) Gather As Much Documentation As Possible
I can’t repeat this enough to my clients. Document, document, document.
Gathering the necessary documentation for divorce proceedings is an important step. It is essential to collect as much evidence as possible if you suspect your spouse may have a narcissistic personality disorder. This could include emails, text messages, bank statements, credit card statements, medical records, or other financial documents. Additionally, you should also keep records of any incidents involving verbal or physical abuse or threats of any kind. These documents can be used in court proceedings to support your case and make sure you get the fair settlement you deserve.
3) Establish Some Ground Rules with yourself
The narcissist is manipulative, unpredictable and likes to be in control. When they’re obstructive and want to win at all costs, it can be difficult to remain calm and maintain your composure. To make the process as successful and stress-free as possible, it’s important to establish ground rules for yourself.
1: Don’t take their behaviour personally, it tells you more about them, and who they are.
2: Get some emotional tools from a therapist or coach.
3: Use mindfulness and pick your battles.
4: Set boundaries for yourself. The narcissist is likely to keep crossing them. Still use clear and direct boundaries with communication, around children, and expectations. Make sure that the narcissist knows that their behaviour is unacceptable and that there are consequences for crossing these boundaries.
4) Keep Your Emotions In Check
This is one of the biggest parts of my work with clients – teaching them how to acknowledge, validate and self-soothe difficult emotions. Our emotions are guidance and they are there to help you understand what you need, and you can choose to use the emotion to support you.
Now, when you’re divorcing a narcissist this can be particularly hard to do and the process of untangling yourself from a partner with Narcissistic Personality Disorder can be quite daunting.
It’s important to learn emotional self-soothing tools because it’s easy to get wrapped up in the cycle of negativity and manipulation.
Take time for yourself by going for walks, practising yoga or meditation, listening to music, and talking to trusted friends or family. This will help you stay grounded and focused on what’s important.
It’s also important to remember that you are not to blame for your spouse’s behaviour and that you are not alone in this. There are many people who have been through a similar experience and this can offer valuable insight into how best to proceed.
5) Don’t Expect A Fair Fight
When divorcing a narcissist, it’s important to remember that you won’t be fighting on a level playing field. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy and a need for admiration. As such, a narcissist will be more likely to resort to manipulation and emotional blackmail in order to gain the upper hand in the divorce. They may also withhold assets or use delaying tactics in order to prolong the divorce process.
To protect yourself, try to anticipate any manipulative strategies your partner might employ. Keep track of all the important details, such as assets and liabilities, and seek legal advice if necessary. The most important thing is to remain calm and collected throughout the process. Your lawyer can help you keep the negotiations fair, while also preventing you from getting emotionally drawn into the fight.