Save This Infographic To Remind You Of Where To Focus
It’s very easy in during the separation and divorce process to get disheartened and exhausted by the process.
In this simple infographic, I share the process you will have to go through to finalise a divorce in England Wales. Save it and refer to it often.
Divorce is 15% Process and 85% Emotional
I have to remind my clients of this frequently. There is a legal process that you need to go through, and with No-Fault divorce, this process is aimed at being around 30 weeks. It can take longer depending on how busy the courts are.
If there are issues around children and financial agreements, then this will delay the divorce process.
TOP FIVE TIPS
1; Get clear about what you want – too often we listen to people outside of ourselves and can easily get caught up in fear, and anger and try to use the divorce process to punish our previous spouse for years of resentment. Don’t do this, you are better than that.
2: Get emotional support to clear your resentment. – Divorce brings all your marital issues to the forefront, and these unresolved upsets get projected onto the divorce process (understandably, you’re human). Working with a divorce coach or divorce therapist (someone who is skilled and trained in navigating grief and the end of a partnership) will save you time, energy and money.
3: It’s okay to feel all of your feels: – We tend to be afraid of our emotions, let’s face it we’re not taught its safe and okay to feel them (especially the ones deemed negative or bad) learn to feel even if its for 60 seconds, and to fully embrace the feeling without judgement. Book a consultation with me so you can learn to do this.
4: Understand the cost of divorce: I have seen a lot of couples spend money they don’t really have, that could be used for creating their new life and supporting their families. Pick your battles, and learn how to respond from your power centre rather than be in AUTOMATIC REACTIVE mode. This is an opportunity to grow and learn emotional maturity.
5: Focus on what you can control: Think about it, we can’t control the judge, the court process, the business of the court, the weather, you Ex, anything that is outside of you, you can’t control. There are things you can influence, and what you can control is yourself, your thoughts, your emotions and your actions. (With conscious practice), make it your mission to focus on what you can control.