Reparenting is a phrase used by therapists and coaches to help clients to heal their inner-child wounds.
Everyone has a wise inner parent. This is a part of us that’s mature and wise beyond belief, that is kind, loving, compassionate and resourceful. Often, we can be disconnected or not have direct access to this part of us, particularly when we have experienced emotional trauma, or are stuck in ego stories and limiting beliefs that cause us to feel limited or powerless.
Our inner child is a part of the subconscious mind where we carry our suppressed emotions, unmet childhood needs, shameful or traumatizing experiences, imagination, creativity and playfulness. In childhood our deepest need is to be seen, heard, acknowledged and loved for who we are, and very often in order to feel safe and loved we adapt ourselves to ‘fit in’ and be accepted by our parents, authority figures and caregivers. The more we adapt, the more we move away from our authentic selves and develop ‘roles’ as a way to relate to others. (Think people pleaser, mummy’s little helper, the high achiever and the life and soul of the party).
When we feel judged, criticised or negative, we may find ourselves becoming defensive, quiet (withdrawing) or attacking and criticising others in order to defend ourselves. If you experience low self-esteem, feel highly reactive, spend a lot of time comparing yourself to others, find it difficult to say no or set boundaries and/or engage in black-and-white thinking (right or wrong) then it’s very likely you have an activated inner child wound.
Reparenting your inner child is the ability to have an inner dialogue between the two parts of yourself (inner child and wise parent). To meet yourself where your inner child is, soothe yourself and shift your power into your adult self and find new empowering meanings.
The process of reparenting yourself from the inside out, will then transfer into your external relationships, as you have the ability to acknowledge, validate and be with yourself during difficult emotions and experiences, you will broaden your capacity to be with others. Strengthening your inner mental and emotional resilience will have a positive effect on all areas of your life, as you become less ‘triggered and reactive’ to life’s events.
How Do You Heal Your Inner Child
My top recommendation would be to work with a therapeutic coach or therapist.
1: Learn to listen, acknowledge and respond to the needs of your inner child.
2: Learn tools to self-soothe and self-regulate your emotions.
3: Practice self-care, setting up rituals and habits that support your well-being and your needs.
4: Learn to play and create more joy in your life. Start new hobbies, be more creative and self-expressed.
5: Practice loving discipline with yourself by; keeping your word to yourself, saying no to things that don’t support you, and practising healthy boundaries with yourself and others.
To speak with me about how to work on healing your inner child and developing an empower relationship with your wise inner parent then please use the contact form here.