Understanding Narcissism: How Early Experiences Shape Us
It's also important to recognise and this isn't talked about enough, that we have to take responsibility for our role in a narcissistic relationship, very often we are the person that abandons ourselves, our needs, wants and desires in favour of the narcissistic person… AND we do this without realising it, and that is one of the lessons we can learn from the relationship.
So here's the thing… Narcissism doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. It’s a complex dance of genetic, environmental, and social influences that shape someone into who they are. I share this with you because if you have someone in your life who has narcissistic tendencies, then I want you to be able to be in your power in this relationship, and part of that is realising their behaviour is about them, not you.
The Wounds of Childhood: Imagine a child growing up without enough love, attention, or validation. The neglect, abuse, or trauma they experience can leave deep scars, driving them to seek admiration and attention in adulthood. These early wounds often play a significant role in the development of narcissistic personality disorder.
The Role of Parenting: Think about the impact of parenting styles. Children raised by overly critical or controlling parents might grow up desperately seeking validation and approval. On the flip side, those who are excessively pampered or praised can develop an inflated sense of self-worth and entitlement. Both extremes can set the stage for narcissistic behaviours.
Cultural and Societal Pressures: We live in a world that often glorifies ambition, confidence, and success. These values can fuel narcissistic tendencies, especially when amplified by social media’s relentless quest for validation. The constant need for likes and attention can exacerbate these traits.
Genetic Predispositions: While the specific genes involved remain a mystery, there’s evidence suggesting that narcissism may have a genetic component. It’s not all about the environment—our DNA can influence how these traits emerge. Although… I personally am not a believer of this, as we know through the work of Bruce Lipton, that cells change based on environment.
It’s crucial to realise that not everyone exposed to these factors will develop narcissistic personality disorder. Narcissism exists on a spectrum, and while some might exhibit traits, it doesn’t mean they have a full-blown disorder. When interacting with someone who shows narcissistic traits or has been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, the experience can vary widely.
